The Difference Between Conversation and Debate

There is a big difference between having a conversation and having a debate. And I’m afraid that people have forgotten how to have conversations. 

The reason I’m worried about that is one of the ways to learn how to be empathetic and compassionate (the foundations of kindness) is to have conversations with people. So that you can hear and listen to their perspectives, experiences, points of view and ideas. Especially when they are different from yours! 

Conversations aren’t about winning and losing, or proving that you are right, and someone else is wrong. That is a debate. 

Conversations are about generating understanding, cooperation and collaboration. Conversations, even when they are hard, have the potential to bring people together. Debates simply divide. 

Today, when you are talking with others, please pay attention to whether you are having a conversation or a debate. Because in an inherently competitive society like we have, it’s easy to unconsciously become involved in debate when a conversation is really what is needed. 

Most things don’t need to be debates. They need to be conversations. Where we listen and learn as much as we speak. So we can connect, come together, cooperate and collaborate to make things better for all. 

Maybe instead of teaching debating and having debate teams, it’s time to start modeling and teaching how to have conversations instead.