What's the best way to practice being kind to yourself? It's not what you think!


Guess what? Hard to believe, but it’s the last few days of the 60 Days of Deliberate Kindness practice we started at the end of April! Our last weekly theme is Kindness to Self. Many people and traditions say to learn kindness, start there, by being kind to yourself. But what I’ve learnt, and why I asked that our last week be practicing kindness to self, is that if you want to learn how to treat yourself more kindly, the best way to practice the skills needed is by being kind to others.


That’s why I’m posting this picture. On Friday, halfway to Rockford for the Hennig Steak Fry, where I’d be with 400 people, I realized I was wearing two very different shoes! I could have beaten myself up, berated myself and been unkind to myself. I didn’t. Here’s what I did instead. I said, “Self, what would you do if you saw someone at a party wearing two different shoes?” And then I went over all the different things in my mind:

  • I’d assume “positive intent” and that they had been in a hurry and didn’t notice

  • I’d remind myself “everyone makes mistakes” and who cares if someone is wearing two different shoes!

  • I’d empathize and put myself “in their shoes” and be kind to them because they might feel embarrassed!

Going through the exercise of how I would act towards another, allowed me the understanding of what to do to be kind to myself! So instead of being upset, I happily went to the Steak Fry! And honestly, I think the two shoes go great together! Fabulous, funky and suits my style perfectly!


This week, please watch out for my posts! I’ll be talking about how to practice the skills you need to be kind to yourself! And to get started in the best way today, please take the opportunity to be kind to others! It’s the best way to learn how to be kind to yourself!

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